Warning: Not for those with a weak stomach.

Last weekend I finally made it out to the Killing Fields Choeung Ek here on the outskirts in Phnom Penh. I didn't really know what I was getting myself into going here. This is one of several sites throughout the country were about 2 million people were killed during Pol Pot's Regime. This is the site where the most people were killed. It is estimated that about 2 million (although they still don't have an exact count) out of a population of about 8 million were killed in this genocide. I can't even begin to imagine if 1 in every 4 people back home were killed. Odds weren't too good then.

When first arriving, the first stop was a sign indicating that this was a "truck stop" where they'd bring in the people every couple of weeks. People were brought in from the prison camps like the Tuol Sleng site I wrote about previously where they had been tortured and starved. Soldiers told people they were being moved to a new camp, but were instead sent to the killing fields. People were sent to the killing fields only to be killed; executions usually took place the same day they arrived. Apparently as time went on, Pol Pot became paranoid that people were going to retaliate against him so he began shipping as many as 300 people per day to these sites.

The next stop was a sign indicating that there used to be a shed located there housing all of the tools. Ammunition was expensive; too expensive in fact to kill the large number of people that came through here. So they used other methods to kill these poor people. Common farming tools were used, such as hoes, hammers, axles, bamboo sticks, etc. They also pointed to a palm tree and explained that the sharp jagged edges of the leaves were commonly used to slice throats.

 The next stop told of how chemicals such as DDT were commonly poured over the mass graves in order to cover up the smell of the deteriorating bodies in hopes of hiding what was occurring there. Additionally, the chemicals helped to kill anyone that happened to have been buried alive. They had several speakers installed and blasted music in order to drown out the screaming of those being executed. Along the tour there were several places that had been mass graves, wherein thousands of skeletons had been uncovered. There were graves for women and children, those that had been decapitated, etc. One of Pol Pot's quotes was "It is better to kill an innocent by mistake than spare an enemy by mistake."

Children were often targeted because they were seen as weak and easier targets. If one member of a family was killed, it was ordered that the rest of the family must be killed to avoid anyone taking revenge for the killing of their family members. Therefore, if a child was murdered, they then had an excuse to kill them all. Another Pol Pot quote, "to kill the grass you must also kill the root." Next to the mass grave for children was a big tree with a sign titled "The Killing Tree". Apparently this tree had been used to swing and beat children against. One man told of how he had discovered this site following the regime and when he came across this tree it was covered in blood, pieces of brain, and skull. People have hung hundreds of bracelets on this tree now honoring those poor children.

 The night before I went there was a huge rain storm. I had heard that following heavy rain several bones and teeth still surface because several skeletons are still buried on the site. I was pretty skeptical of this. But I will testify that I came across several bones and pieces of rags that the victims had been wearing that had surfaced and hadn't yet been collected by the workers. I can't even begin to describe the feeling that overcame me as I walked through this site hearing of peoples' stories and coming across actual remains of this genocide. I carefully watched my step walking around, taking care not to step on any of the victims' remains.

The final stop was a Buddhist stupa that has been built as a memorial housing hundreds of the skulls that have been uncovered here. I don't even know how many stories there were full of skulls. If you looked closely at the skulls you could discover how the person must have been killed. Skulls with a gash in it were probably killed with an axe to the head. Skulls with a whole in the side were pebbly hit with a hammer. Also on site was a small museum. Interestingly they had some testimonies of Khmer Rouge leaders and soldiers admitting to what they had done. One man told of how he had indeed been in charge of ordering people to smash the children. He took responsibility for everything that happened; saying that the soldiers were not accountable because they were just following orders; but that he was responsible for everything they did. Crazy.

 Tonight after dinner I was talking with Pa. In his broken English he brought up having lived through Pol Pot's regime. He lost a younger brother that was only 6 years old during this time. He told me how it was a horrible time for Cambodia, where people had no rice to eat, no medical care, and they lost several loved ones. He also told me that everyone that lived through that time has had a very difficult time in life recovering from this incident. He went on to tell me how lucky I am that I did not have to live through such a thing. Yes, indeed, I am very lucky.

I hope we all recognize how lucky we truly are for all the blessings we have. We do not live in fear for lives. We have more than enough food to eat. We are in good health, and if we aren't we have access to exceptional medical care (something which Cambodia is still lacking. Pa told me how when he is ill he still goes to Vietnam for medical care.) We have never witnessed the cold murder of our loved ones right before our eyes. We live in a country where we have a good educational system, we have opportunity and hope for a bright future, we have a democracy, we have freedom. I hope everyone reading this will take a moment to pause and think of how truly blessed you are and express heartfelt gratitude.