Today I came to the conclusion that I hate goodbyes. I have been struggling with the ending of a very long relationship which in itself is never fun. I find this especially hard for me because suddenly I am forced to cut all ties with the one person that has played such a significant role in my life & try to move on as though he was never around, but continue my life where he left it. Today I took my little sister to the airport & fought tears as I watched her walk away and got back in my car to drive home ALONE. Also today I finally finished this great book I've been reading over the past few weeks. It takes me forever to finish a book--I love to read, but hate to finish books. I usually get so involved in the plot and the charaters' lives that it is difficult to stop reading, but then as the storyline begins to unwind and I realize there are only a few chapters left, I put the book down and sometimes even begin a new book. As I read, I develop such an intimate relationship with the characters and their lives that I hate to say goodbye to the characters I've come to cherish and be left wondering what they end up making with the rest of their lives. I never really contemplated why I do that until today as I sadly read the last paragraph, wishing there were still more chapters to come. I hate the unknown and endings. I hate goodbyes.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
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Interesting. Sounds like you have some of what I do. Is it empathy? I remember taking a personality test my first year of college. It was to tell you what vocations you might be good at. It said that I had empathy. I didn't even know what it meant so asked my institute teacher. He explained that it means the ability to feel for other people. I was surprised and said I didn't know if that really described me. He told me it definitely did. I guess he saw things I didn't know about. I feel silly when I get wrapped up in the characters of a movie or book, etc. Especially when the rest of the family makes fun of me. But I can't stop the feelings from coming.
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